Navigating Grief and Loss: The Healing Power of CBT
If you are familiar with CBT, you know that it’s an approach that has many applications and can benefit a range of mental health concerns. However, many people may not be aware of how CBT is useful for problems related to grief and loss.
Grief and loss can have a ripple effect throughout someone’s life, undoubtedly impacting their mental health and ability to function in many ways. After losing someone important to them, a person may isolate from others, be chronically tired due to a sharp increase or decrease in sleep, and display different eating habits. Grief is also known to cause difficulty concentrating, varying degrees of identity crises, and emotions (some of which rapidly shift) such as loneliness, guilt, shock, anger, and anxiety.
Each of these responses is completely normal in the six-month period after a loss. However, grief is a complex process and some people experience difficulties well beyond this time. Regardless of how long these feelings last, mental health concerns stemming from loss can be overwhelming. Feelings of vulnerability may also prevent someone from seeking professional help. Even so, evidence supports the use of talk therapy (especially with a CBT basis) as largely beneficial at any point during the bereavement period. This article will walk you through how exactly CBT is used to help resolve grief and the distressing emotions it brings about.
CBT addresses feelings of guilt holding you back
After losing a loved one, some people feel they will never be happy again and can even harbor guilt for various reasons. Guilt may manifest as wishing they spent more time with their loved one or kept in closer contact over the years. Others may regret not caring for their loved one in their last moments, especially if they were sick leading up to their death. Regardless of why these feelings arise, they can really impede the healing process and lead someone to dwell on what could have been.
CBT can help someone understand just how futile these ways of thinking can be. As with many past events, there is no way for us to go back and change what happened leading up to the death of a loved one. So engaging in these ways of thinking only stand to hold us back – preventing us from overcoming this loss and becoming happy in the future. CBT enables people to break down negative beliefs rooted in guilt and regret, which can easily snowball into thoughts of being undeserving of happiness and healing. While CBT will not undo the loss of a loved one, this approach allows people to realize that the next steps are in their hands and they are in charge of what the future holds.
CBT teaches self-compassion
Self-compassion is key to effectively addressing grief-related feelings such as guilt and regret. Compassion toward ourselves is interwoven throughout all forms of CBT because it is central to overcoming negative thought patterns and beliefs. As such, self-compassion also has an important place in the management of grief and loss. By becoming more loving and sensitive to our own feelings and needs, we can more rationally respond to feelings of guilt. Giving ourselves the love we need – especially during times of loss and mourning – is one of the best ways to overcome the difficulties of the present. Learning the skill of self-compassion also gives us the opportunity to overcome other trying times we may encounter in life.
CBT prevents loss avoidance
It can be easy to shy away from painful reminders of our loved ones right after they have gone. It’s just as simple to slip into the habit of avoiding thoughts of grief altogether. By sidestepping what happened, we aren’t processing the event at all. Instead, we’re putting it off in favor of other things happening in the here and now. This doesn’t make the loss go away – it saves the grieving process for another time, which makes it far more complex than it was to begin with. In vivo exposure and imaginal exposure are CBT techniques that allow individuals to gradually get used to the loss and develop healthy coping mechanisms to manage feelings that arise as a result. We know CBT uses a mixture of cognitive reasoning to address negative beliefs and behavioral modification to create healthier habits, which is why this process helps resolve feelings associated with grief and take steps to a healthier, happier tomorrow.
CBT encourages interaction
Socialization plays an important role in overcoming a difficult loss. While people may not think they are ready or feel as if being alone is the best thing for them at the time, there is scientific evidence to say otherwise. This is called behavioral activation and is known to help individuals experiencing sadness as a result of depression, grief, and other life circumstances or conditions. If you’re familiar with the phrase ‘Fake it until you make it,’ that’s at the core of behavioral activation. Even if you don’t feel ready or interested in these sorts of activities, taking the first step to initiate them will help you in the long run. In fact, you’re very likely to feel differently once you begin. As soon as you have that momentum, behavioral activation sets you up to do more as time goes on, which helps with recovery from loss.
The concept of behavioral activation doesn’t just reference social activities as being helpful – rather, any activity that offers someone a sense of accomplishment and meaning can fit the bill. This may include simple but satisfying daily tasks, leisure activities, hobbies, and even volunteer work. Behavioral activation not only helps address the negative thoughts and beliefs we just discussed, but also enhances someone’s well-being and motivation for daily tasks. Therefore, it pairs well with the other aspects of CBT designed to help people overcome grief.
These aspects of CBT all collectively work to help individuals overcome the effects of grief. If you recently lost a loved one and are looking for some support along the way, Eastside CBT can assist you in building skills to manage uncomfortable emotions and build a healthier, happier future. Connect with us.
References:
Pop-Jordanova N. (2021). Grief: Aetiology, Symptoms and Management. Prilozi (Makedonska akademija na naukite i umetnostite. Oddelenie za medicinski nauki), 42(2), 9–18. https://doi.org/10.2478/prilozi-2021-0014
Karangoda, M. D., Breen, L. J., & Mazzucchelli, T. G. (2021). Brief behavioural activation for prolonged grief disorder: a case series. Clinical Psychologist, 25(1), 88–97. https://doi.org/10.1080/13284207.2020.1829942
University of Michigan. (n.d.). Behavioral Activation for Depression. Retrieved from https://medicine.umich.edu/sites/default/files/content/downloads/Behavioral-Activation-for-Depression.pdf
Lenferink, L. I. M., Eisma, M. C., de Keijser, J., & Boelen, P. A. (2017). Grief rumination mediates the association between self-compassion and psychopathology in relatives of missing persons. European journal of psychotraumatology, 8(sup6), 1378052. https://doi.org/10.1080/20008198.2017.1378052
